Oscar Levant Quotes

I am no more humble than my talents require.
- Oscar Levant

Famous Quotes on Advice

My mother once said to me, "Elwood" -- she always called me Elwood -- "Elwood, in this world you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant." For years I tried smart. I recommend pleasant.
--Elwood P. Dowde (James Stewart), "Harvey"

Ask advice only of your equals.
--Danish Proverb

Many receive advice, few profit by it.
--Publilius Syrus

Funny Quotes - Homer Simpson

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.
- Homer Simpson

Funny Quotes - Speech Impedient

Funny Quotes - Speech Impedient

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.
- Jimmy Durante

Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes - Famous Quotes - Free Quotes - Prejudices

Funny Quotes - Famous Quotes - Free Quotes - Prejudices

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
- WC Fields.

Funny Quotes - Genius

I have nothing to declare except my genius.
- Oscar Wilde

Famous Quotes - Funny Quotes - Groucho Marx

Famous Quotes - Funny Quotes - Groucho Marx

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
- Groucho Marx

If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
- Groucho Marx

Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you
- Groucho Marx



Funny Jokes
Funny Jokes
Funny Jokes

Mark Twain Quotes - Famous Quotes

Mark Twain Quotes - Famous Quotes

Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.
- Mark Twain

When red-haired people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn
- Mark Twain

The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become
- Mark Twain

Adverb

The adverb is the enemy of the verb.
--Author unknown

Adultery Quotations

If a married woman shall be caught lying with another man, both shall be bound and thrown into the river.
--The Code of the Hammurabi

But a man who commits adultery lacks judgment;
whoever does so destroys himself.
--Proverbs 6:32

Between a man and his wife a husband's infidelity is nothing. The man imposes no bastards on his wife.
--Samuel Johnson

John Milton

"He who reigns within himself and rules his passions, desires, and fears is more than a king. "

John Milton

Liberace

"Nobody will believe in you unless you believe in yourself."

Liberace

William Shakespeare

"This above all: to thine own self be true; And it must follow, as the night the day; Thou canst not then be false to any man."

William Shakespeare

Henry Ford

Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.

Henry Ford

Admiration

Admiration is a very short-lived passion, that immediately decays upon growing familiar with its object.
--Joseph Addison

Admiration, n. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
--Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

Happiness Quote

Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness and the word happiness would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.
--- C.G.Jung

Accidental

Nothing under the sun is ever accidental.
G. E. Lessing