Quotes Famous Quotes - Erma Bombeck Quotes

Funny Quotes - Erma Bombeck Quotes

Famous Quotes - Erma Bombeck Quotes


Quotes From Famous People

Most children's first words are "Mama" or "Daddy." Mine were, "Do I have to use my own money?"
- Erma Bombeck

Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.
- Erma Bombeck

I remember buying a set of black plastic dishes once, after I saw an ad on television where they actually put a blowtorch to them and they emerged unscathed. Exactly one week after I bought them, one of the kids brought a dinner plate to me with a large crack in it. When I asked what happened to it, he said it hit a tree. I don't want to talk about it.
- Erma Bombeck

My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch on fire or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one cares. Why should you?
- Erma Bombeck

Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they're not trying to keep up with you.
- Erma Bombeck


Everyone is guilty at one time or another of throwing out questions that beg to be ignored, but mothers seem to have a market on the supply. "Do you want a spanking or do you want to go to bed?" Don't you want to save some of the pizza for your brother?" Wasn't there any change?"
- Erma Bombeck


I don't know why no one ever thought to paste a label on the toilet-tissue spindle giving 1-2-3 directions for replacing the tissue on it. Then everyone in the house would know what Mama knows.
- Erma Bombeck

Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.
- Erma Bombeck

More Famous Quotes


On vacations: We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies and the sand out of our belongings.
- Erma Bombeck

Mother's words of wisdom: "Answer me! Don't talk with food in your mouth!"
- Erma Bombeck

All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with white carpet is one of them.
- Erma Bombeck

When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?" it's a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.
- Erma Bombeck

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there's a wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick.
- Erma Bombeck

When mothers talk about the depression of the empty nest, they're not mourning the passing of all those wet towels on the floor, or the music that numbs your teeth, or even the bottle of capless shampoo dribbling down the shower drain. They're upset because they've gone from supervisor of a child's life to a spectator. It's like being the vice president of the United States.
- Erma Bombeck


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